I thought I was going to have more to say, to wrap up this month. I thought I would have nearly finished writing another book by now, but instead I’ve hardly written anything this month. In fact, I tried to extend my deliberate break from writing, but then I ended up plotting out a brand new five-book fantasy romcom series instead of letting my brain rest. And yet, I’ve struggled to actually write any of it, even though it was supposed to be “for fun.”

It’s a frustrating situation to be in as a writer, because I want to be writing. I feel kind of drifting and aimless when I’m not writing, and while that’s a nice place to be for a rest once in a while, I have the itch to take aim again. I’m just struggling to focus on my projects—any projects. (The joys of ADHD!)

So, yeah, I don’t have writing progress to update this month, since I didn’t make much. I’m thinking of trying to make October a writing month, since I’m going to be travelling in November. I’m not sure if it will be just the distraction I need from stressing about my book release, or if it will be too much for my brain to handle. We shall see.

The biggest thing this month has been preparing for the release of Level Up on October 17th. I sent out my eARCs and ordered my author copies of the paperback to give to friends and family—although they haven’t arrived yet—and I’ve been posting about it a little on social media, even though I’m terrible at that. I know there’s more I *should* be doing, but I’m trying to keep this manageable for me, and stay true to myself. I’m not the kind of person to go plastering promo all over the place all the time, that just doesn’t fit me.

Completely unrelated to writing, though, I’ve managed to keep up an “art” habit for over a month now. I spend ten to fifteen minutes every morning doodling and colouring abstract designs in my sketchbook as a sort of art therapy, and I’m loving it. It is zero pressure, unlike how I sometimes treat my art, and I look forward to it when I wake up every day.

I want to feel that way about writing again, too. That I look forward to it every morning when I wake up. I felt a bit of that while I was brainstorming and plotting this new series, but when I tried to start writing the first book, I froze up after a couple of chapters. There’s a mental block in the way and I know I have to break through it, but it always comes with so many doubts and fears.

• What if I don’t remember how to do this?
• What if I’ve never been any good at this?
• What if this isn’t the best use of my time?
• Maybe I should be writing something more marketable.
• Maybe I should be taking a longer break from writing while I’m still so stressed.
• Maybe I should tidy and organize my entire apartment first.

And then all that what-if-ing and should-ing exhausts me and I don’t have the mental energy to even consider writing anymore. (And I also don’t tidy the apartment.)

I don’t have the answer. All I know is that I’ve felt like this before, and I always return to writing one way or another. I think it comes down to a combination of pushing myself a little and just letting myself get there in my own time. So I think I’m going to do a little pushing next month, but not to the point that I break down in tears by 9AM every day.

If you want to keep up with my shenanigans throughout the month, follow me on Bluesky, because I say a lot of weird things over there, often about writing—or not-writing—and sometimes video games.

And, of course, don’t forget that you can preorder the Level Up ebook now! It will also be available on KU on release day, as well as a paperback version. I’m officially on Goodreads now, too, so you can add my books to your TBR or follow my author page there for updates. I even have the Q&A open over there, if you have any questions for me.