A lot of things happened this month.

• I put my first book on preorder.
• I put my next two books on preorder as well.
• I got a proof copy of my first paperback; I got to hold my own, real book in my own, real hands. I may have cried.
• I also set up my author website, and tried promoting my books on social media—but I hate doing that and I’m terrible at it.

August was supposed to be something of a recovery month for me after having drafted a book and a half in the previous six weeks. I wanted to take a break from writing itself, and get a few of those pesky admin tasks done. You know, those little things. Like publishing books. Except they ended up taking a lot more of my energy than I expected, given how much emotional weight they carry.

Because, as I have learned, publishing your own books is terrifying. It is constant self-doubt. It is imposter syndrome without the benefit of actually having success. It is a parade of people telling you how excited they are for your books while no one is actually buying them.

It’s been about eighteen months since I started writing what will be my first book—I have attempted to write many before that, but none of them have come to anything so far—and about twelve months since I decided that I would try my hand at this whole self-publishing malarkey. Why not? I’ve always had a very DIY spirit, I’m good at figuring stuff out, I could do this.

And, you know, maybe I can. Maybe I’ll even be good at this one day. But right now, all I can see is everything I’m doing wrong, and all the ways I might—and will—fail. And yet I carry on. I’m moving forward with all of it, despite my fears and doubts and nausea.

Overall, though, August wasn’t a terrible month. Since I didn’t have to write anything—although I still did write a bit, oops—I managed to get a lot of reading done. I reread the Emily Wilde series, which I think might be my all-time favourite series, even though it is nothing like the kind of books I write. For now. I even did some Emily and Wendell fanart . And I splurged by treating myself to a second-hand (and horrendously jacked-up price) set of the Owlcrate special edition of the series that I missed earlier this year, because they are the most beautiful things I’ve ever seen, and my partner thought I deserved a nice thing after doing the scary thing.

As for the upcoming month, I’m hoping to get back in the writing saddle, though I'm struggling to find the motivation. I don’t have the discipline to write only what I “should” write next; I have to write whatever I feel like writing. And while I have many stories that I’m eager to write, the creative part of my brain that I use for, you know, solving story problems and stuff seems to still be in summer vacay mode. So we’ll see how that goes.

I’ll also have more prep to do for my book launch, like getting ARCs out and doing more promotion—gross—and overall making sure I’m ready for the October 17th release date. But with the weather cooling down here in southern Ontario, it should be easier for me to get some work done, because I can’t do anything when it’s thirty degrees. (Celsius, obviously.)

I’ve  been posting on Bluesky a lot the past few weeks, though, so if you are on there, you should follow me for more behind-the-scenes nonsense. Most of it is anxiety-related, but sometimes I talk about books I’m reading or games I’m playing. It’d be nice not to shout into the void forever, although I expect that is my destiny.

Anyway, I’ll check in again at the end of September with a recap! See you then!